


Green, Pink and Purple All Look Good With Blue

by xxBisexualDisasterxx



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Anxious Shuichi, Bisexual Disaster Saihara Shuichi, Bisexual Male Character, But He'll Get Better, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Like, Multi, Saihara Shuichi Needs a Hug, Shuichi has PTSD, Shuichi is a good singer, amasai, major PTSD, obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxBisexualDisasterxx/pseuds/xxBisexualDisasterxx
Summary: My first fanfiction. This is essentially my little rewrite of V3 from Shuichi's perspective. There going to be lots of changes and some pretty messed up stuff, so please don't read if you're uncomfortable with that.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Saihara Shuichi & Everyone
Comments: 12
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing Shuichi saw upon opening his eyes was grey.

He was surrounded by it. A dull, metallic grey. Before the panic began to fully set in, he realized he was inside a locker. A small one at that. He tried to push against the door to open it, but it opened with much less force than he was expecting. He stumbled and landed on a cold, dull floor.

To say that Shuichi was bewildered was an understatement. He had no idea where he was or why he was even there in the first place. Completely new surroundings were never a good sign. As he slowly lifted his head to get a better idea of where he was, he saw a girl through his hat. A very pretty girl at that, with a pale pink vest, a purple skirt adorned with musical notes and blonde hair with matching musical note hair pins.

Instinctively, he jumped back and cried out in a mixture of surprise, fear and distrust. He didn’t know who she was and therefore had no reason to immediately trust her. If there was one thing he had learned throughout his life, it was that he couldn’t trust others until he was absolutely sure that they didn’t have any malicious intent.

“How rude! Don’t freak out at me like I’m some sort of monster!”

Those words broke him out of his spiraling thoughts and, admittedly, caught him a little off guard.

“Ah, sorry…” he quietly replied.

“I’m sorry too okay? I just have no idea what’s going on…”

_Oh…so she’s in the same situation as me, or at least a similar one…_

“But…all the more reason why we need to stay calm. Oh! ‘Gymnopedie No. 1” by Erik Satie.”

_…What…?_

“Try to imagine that sorrowful melody filing your head and soothing your heart- “

_So she’s a classical music enthusiast? Or maybe she’s another ultimate. Yeah, that’s way more likely._

“RISE AND SHINE URSINE!”

At that moment, five brightly coloured teddy bear looking creatures popped out of the ground, who proceeded to engage in an incredibly stupid yet slightly amusing conversation. However, the conversation wasn’t completely useless, as Shuichi managed to learn a few things from it. Firstly, the bears were called the Monokubs. Second, they were at a place known as the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles. Third, there were a total of 16 Ultimates at the Academy, including the two of them.

After a while, the Kubs left leaving them both with several unanswered questions.

“Um… Are you an Ultimate student too?”

It was then that Shuichi realized that he hadn’t even introduced himself to her yet. _Stupid Shuichi, stupid._

“Y-yeah…well, then…I’m Shuichi Saihara. They call me the Ultimate Detective, but...”

 _I’m weak, stupid and cowardly. I can’t do anything right. I never actually manage to help people. I’m only useful after it’s too late to actually save anyone. I mean I can’t even look people in the eye anymore. I’m pathetic pathetic pathetic_ _patheticPATHETICPATHETICPATHE-_

“What? You’re a detective? That’s amazing!”

_…huh…?_

“It’s not much. I mean I just happened to solve a few cases before the police did…”

“Not many people can ‘just happen’ to solve cases. You should be more proud of that.”

_Really?_

“Oh yeah… My name is Kaede Akamatsu. I’m the Ultimate Pianist. Nice to meet you!”

“Ultimate…Pianist…”

_Well, that would explain what she said earlier…_

“Well, no one calls me the Ultimate Pianist. Usually just Piano Freak.”

_That’s kind of mean…_

“Ever since I was a child, I would play the piano whenever I got bored… There were even times I played the piano so much, that I would forget to eat and sleep. Eventually, I won trophies from concerts. And people started praising me…”

_Wow…she really is passionate about what she does._

“That’s how you got your Ultimate title? That’s way more impressive than me…”

“No. That’s all I’m good for, really.”

_Why do I get the feeling that that’s completely untrue?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the first chapter. Some parts of the story are going to differ from the original. For example, Shuichi gained his title of Ultimate Detective by solving a lot of serious robbery, kidnapping and murder cases. The murder case that traumatizes him in the game is the last one that he solves before being put in the killing game. This is only because I need him to be on really close terms with Kyoko Kirigiri (the other Ultimate Detective) for plot reasons much later down the line. I’ll try to keep these sections short, but I’ll talk about the plot details here. Any constructive criticism in the comments is welcomed.


	2. Chapter 2

Shuichi vaguely remembered introducing himself to the other students along with Kaede. He was able to formulate first impressions of everyone, vague as they were.

_Akamatsu-san…seems kind and optimistic. A natural born leader, hell, maybe even slightly protagonist-like. She’s really easy to talk to. I hope we can become friends…_

_Shirogane-san’s…pretty intense about what she does. Well, that isn’t a bad thing. She’s eccentric, but then again, we all are. Kaede definitely thought she was sexy. She pretty much turned into a perverted old man. Sorry for poking your cheek Shirogane-san!_

_Iruma-san…what do I even say? She’s vulgar, kind of rude and aggressive. But maybe she’s just tense being in an unfamiliar situation. Her comment about my hat hurt, but it’s not like anyone knows what it means to me. Anyway, she’s probably going to be hard to get along with._

_Chabashira-san…degenerate male, huh? That stings. Well, it’s not like she has anything against me in particular. She’s brash, but I can tell her heart’s in the right place._

_Yumeno-san…she very strongly believes in her magic. But she seems laid back…scratch that. She seems extremely lazy. But also like a little sister._

_K1-B0…well, I can definitely say that this is my first time meeting a robot. He’s understandably uncomfortable with ‘robophobia’ and can be seen as socially inept, but he seems like a good guy._

_Ouma-san…is honestly kind of hard to pin down. He seems carefree and the kind of guy to lie and pull pranks for fun, but I can tell there’s something deeper behind the surface. I…want to get to know him better._

_Hoshi-san…seems to have had a harsh life. He’s even been to prison, but he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. He’s honestly kind of intimidating but I want to get to know him better. He sounds way more mature than he should be…that’s kind of worrying._

_Harukawa-san…is really pessimistic. She’s got an intimidating and stand-offish aura about her. Is she really a child-caregiver? Well, either way, she seems like a capable individual._

_Shinguji-san…is definitely a strange fellow. Though anthropology is a really interesting subject, and he does seem passionate about it. Even so, why can’t I shake off this…feeling of uneasiness whenever I talk to him. Well, I guess I’ll just have to be careful around him._

_Momota-san…seems naïve, but he’s definitely passionate. He seems kind and genuinely nice. People are definitely going to look to him to lead during tense situations. Or maybe they’ll look to Akamatsu-san instead. I don’t know._

_Gokuhara-san…is definitely the purest among us. He radiates a childlike innocence that makes me slightly jealous. But he’s definitely had a tough life. I mean being raised in the jungle?! That’s unusual even for us._

_Yonaga-san…is cheerful. Almost too cheerful. It might have something to do with her seemingly unhealthy devotion to ‘Atua’. Her God, huh…? A pint or two of blood as an offering? That’s an expensive God alright._

_Tojo-san…is definitely mature and responsible. I mean, she’s the Ultimate Maid. I hope her concern for others does not lead to her being taken advantage of. She’s also extremely prett- wait wait wait stop it, that’s just creepy, me._

And then there was…Rantaro Amami…

Just the thought of him reddened Shuichi’s cheeks a little. 

Rantaro was probably the most attractive person Shuichi had ever met. His curly green hair, his eyelashes, his lean figure, Shuichi’s heart skipped a beat when he first laid eyes on him. Rantaro was mysterious, maybe even a little suspicious. He couldn’t even remember his Ultimate Talent. But as suspicious as he seemed, Shuichi couldn’t see Rantaro as a bad guy. He seemed like a nice, relaxed person. He did feel slightly silly though. He had only just met the guy and already felt a mild attraction towards him. That was definitely unlike him. It was something he would have to think about later.

But their situation was definitely a horrible one. Forced to kill each other? That can only end horribly.

_I don’t even want to imagine it. But whe- IF the time comes to investigate a murder, I’m definitely going to have to be on the front lines as a detective. But can I even do it?_

Unable to stop himself from trembling, Shuichi began to drift off to an uneasy sleep.

His nightmares of whispers and screams and prodding and punches returned tenfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, the descriptions of the characters are my own first impressions of the characters (Rantaro is obviously exaggerated), just slightly tweaked here and there. As a Shuichi kinnie (and simp), I hope it’s accurate enough.  
> Also yeah, the ship is going to be Shuichi/Rantaro. Sorry Saiouma, Saimota and Saimatsu fans.  
> Also, I don’t recommend this fic if you’re a fan of Korekiyo. He is not going to be a good person in this fic. So, yeah.


	3. Chapter 3

Shuichi had been wandering around the campus for at least the past few hours. He’d been desperately wracking his brain for ideas.

_If no one killed anyone within the next three days, everyone would die?! That’s just cruel…I need to think of something. Something! Anything! I can’t just stand here and do nothing. Everyone’s lives are at stake. I’m a failure of detective if I can’t do anything. Worthless, pathetic, stupid disappointment, that’s what I am- Stop. I need to stop. Thinking like that is not going to get me anywhere. They’re not here to remind me. But what do I even do? What do I do, what do I do, what do I-_

His internal rambling and nervous wandering the school halls brought him to the game room. He paused upon opening the door. Inside he saw Kaede and-

_Rantaro…_

While he had been getting to know everyone to some extent, he had to say that he was closest to Kaede, Rantaro and Ryoma, to some extent. As he grew closer to Rantaro, little by little, he grew slightly more attracted to him.

_Though he’s probably more interested in Kaede though…I mean, why would he be interested in me?_

Now seeing the two of them alone in the game room, he couldn’t help but feel that he was interrupting something private.

“Oh, s-sorry! I-I’ll be going now…” he nervously stammered.

“Oh no, it’s fine!” Kaede exclaimed. “Rantaro here was just painting my nails. It’s the first time I’ve ever done something like this, so I was really excited. And it’s so pretty! Look!” she said practically beaming as she held out her hands towards Shuichi. A simple, yet elegant pink and white design adorned her short, perfectly trimmed nails.

“W-wow…they really are pretty…” Shuichi breathed almost longingly. _Those are some pretty nails…I’m almost jealous. Rantaro really is skilled._

Rantaro must have caught the longing in Shuichi’s voice, because he smiled warmly at him and pat the chair next to him that was formerly occupied by Kaede. “Want me to do yours?” Rantaro gently asked.

Shuichi almost yelped out of nervousness but caught himself. _Is he really offering to…is that okay? Am I imposing on him? Is he just offering out of obligation? Am I just inconveniencing him? Is he just being nice as usual? I’m not worth the trouble, right? Is this-_

“You know it’s no trouble at all, right?” Rantaro kindly asked, cutting through Shuichi’s spiralling thoughts. After mentally slapping himself for taking so long to respond, he shyly nodded and sat down. Rantaro then held Shuichi’s hand up to his face, examining his nails, then stopped.

_WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT NONONONONONONONO THERE’S ANOTHER PROBLEM! OH GOD HE’S SEEN IT NOW! BIG PROBLEM, HUGE PROBLEM, GIGANTIC PROBLEM! I SHOULDN’T HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN OH GOD OH GOD OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODO-_

Shuichi’s shoulders began tensing up and his breathing got more erratic. He was on the verge of a panic attack. Rantaro’s gaze was fixed on Shuichi’s left hand, face slowly morphing into one of poorly disguised horror. Kaede was looking at the two in curiosity. _Nonononono-_

“Your nails…short and pretty. And neat too…Ah, I have just the pattern in mind. Mind if I start now?”

_Huh…? He’s not going to…?_

Rantaro must have sensed Shuichi’s distress, for he just smiled warmly at Shuichi once again. He laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, making Shuichi flinch slightly, but it went unnoticed by the taller boy. _He isn’t going to talk about it, huh? …Thank you, Amami-san._

Shuichi shook his head and Rantaro got to work, holding Shuichi’s hand in his. Shuichi stared fiercely at his nails to hide his face, for fear of blushing fiercely. Rantaro’s rough hand gently held his as he painted his nails. Rantaro was focused on painting, though his eyes occasionally flitted towards Shuichi’s own. A couple of times, their eyes met, and both almost immediately looked away out of embarrassment. By the time Rantaro was done, both their faces were slightly red.

Shuichi stared at his nails in mild fascination. The white and the teal looked beautiful together, and it was really neat. He stared at Rantaro in admiration before catching himself and looking away.

“I-it’s amazing… T-thank you, A-amami-san!”

“Ha ha… Don’t mention it. And call me Rantaro, Shuichi.”

The two of them almost forgot that Kaede was in the room and almost jumped out of their skins when Kaede started a conversation on noticing they were finished. Thankfully, Kaede didn’t insist on seeing Shuichi’s nails. The three of them spent a while in pleasant conversation, which helped calm Shuichi down. His mind was clearer, and he was filled with newfound determination to help his new friends. He didn’t want them to die.

Leaving the game room, he found himself at the library. He was about to turn around and go back to his room, when he noticed strange marks on the floor next to a bookshelf at the very back of the room.

_That’s an oddly specific pattern…skid marks? But that can only mean one thing…_

Shuichi walked towards the shelf and began inspecting its sides and eventually, the shelf swung open like a door. To Shuichi’s amazement, he found a card reader and a hidden door that looked exactly like Monokuma.

_This door can only be here for one reason. This must be something the mastermind uses. If so, then…_

After inspecting the area and placing some dust on the card reader, Shuichi began brainstorming on the way back to his room. Soon, he had the bones of a plan which could expose the mastermind behind the killing game. _Maybe I could even get Akamatsu-san to help me…_

To his surprise, he found none other than Rantaro at his door on returning. On seeing him, Rantaro’s face morphed into an expression that was a mixture of alertness and determination. Shuichi had an idea of exactly what he wanted.

“Hey there Shuichi. Hope I’m not bothering you. Can we talk inside?”

_Crap._

“Sure, no problem.”

On entering Shuichi’s room, Rantaro sat on the chair at the desk, while Shuichi sat cross-legged on the bed. Shuichi knew he was in store for a serious conversation, as Rantaro was sitting on the chair normally.

“So, when are we going to address the elephant in the room?”

_Straight to it, huh?_

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you really expecting me to not talk about how I only had _nine_ nails to paint?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I going to leave it at that without any other context? Yes, yes I am.  
> As you can tell from the tags, my boy s u f f e r s. It pains me to do, since I kin and simp for him at the same time, but his friends are here for him, I promise. Especially Rantaro.  
> For those wondering, the pattern Rantaro did for Shuichi is https://www.nailarts.co/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/1-Easy-Easy-Nail-Designs-2017041184.jpg , just teal instead of black. He did something simple for him because he thought it would look good.  
> I’m going to shut up now. See you (hopefully) next chapter! :-)


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you really expecting me to not talk about how I only had _nine_ nails to paint?”

_Sigh…I knew it…_

Shuichi tried hiding his face behind his hat. He normally would have stared down at his hands, but didn’t want to now, seeing as they were the subject of their current discussion.

“I don’t see what we have to talk about…”

“Shuichi, you’re _missing a goddamn finger- “_

“You’re making it sound worse than it is- “

“YOU’RE REALLY ABOUT TO TELL ME THAT LOSING AN ENTIRE FUCKING FINGER IS NOT A BIG DEAL??”

Shuichi instinctively sprung back at that. He’d never heard Rantaro yell or swear before, and his face looked like he could have murdered someone right then and there. It honestly terrified him. Yelling was never good.

Rantaro, meanwhile, seemed to have realized how his outburst affected the bluenette. He immediately moved from the chair to the bed, sitting next to Shuichi. He looked apologetic as he met Shuichi’s gaze.

“I’m sorry about yelling like that. I scared you, didn’t I? Forgive me?”

Slowly, Shuichi nodded.

The two boys sat next to each other in a not-so awkward silence, before Rantaro broke it.

“So…do you want to tell me how it happened? Only if you’re comfortable with telling me of course! I’m only asking because it looked more like a healed wound than a physical abnormality from birth.”

Shuichi considered that statement. _Do I want to tell Rantaro? There’s no downside to telling him, but…how do I do it? I’ve never been able to talk about things like this with anyone before. I can’t do it. I’ll just tell him it’s not a-_

Right then Shuichi eyes met Rantaro’s, and those soft, green eyes were pleading. Practically begging to know. To let Shuichi unload at least some of what was on his mind.

“…A-alright. I’ll tell you.”

“Okay. That’s good. Just don’t force yourself.”

Shuichi looked away and took a deep breath. He could still remember it as if it were just yesterday. _The pain, the screaming, the sirens, those eyes, **those goddamn eyes-**_

Suddenly, he felt warmth. Rantaro had taken Shuichi’s trembling hands in his own.

“Hey, Shuichi, look at me. Try to follow my breathing, okay? In, hold, out, in, hold, out, good, good, just like that…”

Eventually, Shuichi’s breathing calmed down.

“You with me?” Rantaro asked kindly.

Shuichi nodded. He realized he would only continue wasting Rantaro’s time at this rate.

“Okay. You’ve probably- no- _definitely_ guessed that this wasn’t an accident.”

Rantaro nodded.

“It was the last case I worked on before…well…this. Some big name in business had been brutally murdered. I managed to find out who the killer was and set the police on his trail. But the killer figured that out before he was caught. Just a day before his arrest, he managed to kidnap me and escape.”

Rantaro gasped at that.

“It turned out that the victim was a cruel man who abused the killer’s family. He even drove one of his relatives to suicide. The killer did what he did to avenge his family, and he hated me for pursuing him. He wanted to torture me to death to get me out of the way. That’s when I…lost the finger.”

Rantaro was left speechless.

“He stared at me with such burning hatred…those eyes…they haunt me even now. I mean I’m so pathetic, I can’t even look people in the eye properly anymore. That’s why I wear the hat. I wonder even now if I was right to expose him back then. Maybe the outcome would have been better if I’d just kept my mouth shut-”

Rantaro couldn’t stand to hear it anymore.

Before Shuichi could continue, Rantaro enveloped him in a hug. This seemed to be a mistake, as he noticed that Shuichi flinched violently. However, as he was about to pull away, Shuichi began to melt into the warm embrace. Shuichi began to silently shake as Rantaro rubbed gentle circles into his back.

_It’s…so warm. He smells like…cinnamon and…honey…? I…almost don’t want to let go…is that stupid? Yeah, definitely. But…it feels so nice. It feels…safe, warm. So different from them. I want to stay like this…at least a little longer. But that’s…selfish, isn’t it? I’m not being considerate of him at all._

Eventually, Shuichi stopped shaking. Rantaro pulled away, and the two sat next to each other, in a now comfortable silence. Surprisingly, Shuichi was the one to break it.

“Sorry you had to see that. I just lost control and started rambling- “

“Don’t apologize, Shuichi. It’s really alright. Plus, you sounded like you needed that.”

_That’s…true…_

“Also…it isn’t your fault.”

_What?_

“What happened is not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for that. The murderer may have been a victim too, but what he did to you was objectively wrong. What happened to you was horrible, and you shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

_I…wow…that’s-that’s right, isn’t it…?_

_“_ T-thank you, Amami-san. I really did need to hear that.”

Silence fell once again, Shuichi still slightly leaning into Rantaro. The mood was in desperate need of lifting.

“Shuichi…you really melted into that hug.” Rantaro said with a small smirk.

_Oh fu-_

Shuichi turned bright red and jumped up, to the apparent amusement of Rantaro, who burst out laughing.

The two of them had their first real aimless conversation without Kaede, before the night-time announcement rang throughout the premises.

As he left, Shuichi came to a realization. That he loved the man known as Rantaro Amami.

As he left, Rantaro came to a realization. That despite that moment of vulnerability, Shuichi didn’t cry even once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this is the first real hurt/comfort chapter. Don’t worry, the conversation with Kaede in the classroom still happens. In this instance, Rantaro comforted Shuichi in a moment of need, while in that case, Kaede tries to get Shuichi to believe in himself.  
> Yes, I definitely changed up Shuichi’s backstory a LOT. There are multiple reasons for this. First, if he’s a detective more used to murder cases and such, something much more serious had to have happened to traumatize him THAT much, and second, it was the only method I could think of to have the nail painting scene be a catalyst for this conversation. I’m genuinely sorry if you are not comfortable with this kind of content or are triggered by it in any way.   
> Poor Shu’s missing his left pinkie.  
> Please forgive me if this is cringey or painful to read. This is my first serious attempt at writing and am still learning. Any and all criticism is appreciated. :-)


	5. Chapter 5

Shuichi felt like he was going to be sick. He wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. He wanted to collapse, wanted to close his eyes and never open them again. But his eyes wouldn’t close, and his body wouldn’t move.

In front of him lay Rantaro Amami, blood flowing from his head, cold and dead.

_Nononononononononothiscan’tbehappeningnonononononono_

The man he grew to love, even after knowing him for just a few days, was dead at his feet. He would never see his smile or hear his laugh ever again. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to break down. But he didn’t. He looked around at the people in the library looking for a raised hand.

_Who is it? Who killed him? Who wanted to leave so badly that they felt the need to take advantage of the First Blood Perk? Wait…what?_

No hands were going up. Everyone looked just as shocked as Shuichi felt. The Class Trial would proceed like normal. And that meant that a detective was needed.

_Oh God oh god oh god okay calm down calm down calm down calm down calm dow-_

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Suppressing a flinch, he saw it was Kaede’s. She stared at him with determination in her eyes and a nervous smile. Shuichi immediately snapped out of his thoughts.

_How does she do that? Her not losing it is stopping me from losing it, honestly. Another thing to add to the checklist of reasons why she’s awesome._

As everyone went their separate ways trying to investigate, Shuichi went to check the cameras, thinking that they might hold some sort of clue. After all, Rantaro’s position indicated that he had seen the cameras.

_But that shouldn’t be possible. They were hidden out of sight. Nobody should have been able to notice them…how did he…?_

It was then that he noticed it.

_Wait…why is the flash on? I’m sure I switched them off when I set them up. Hold on- I didn’t set this one up…no…that means…that’s not possible…_

There’s no way it could be possible, right?

Shuichi looked up at the open vent, his blood running cold. He climbed the ladder in the library to reach it and saw the books on top of the shelves stacked in a very unusual, yet specific pattern. It seemed to form a perfect slope. And on top of that, the vent grate was open. He looked down at the bloody shotput ball lying near Rantaro, expression growing more and more horrified as the realization dawned on him.

_No…she wouldn’t…not her…anyone but her…_

He despised the fact that his conclusion was probably the truth. He despised himself for reaching that truth.

And so, he kept his mouth shut.

Throughout the investigation and in the trial, he kept his mouth shut, not wanting to speak those horrible words. Even when he himself was suspected as the culprit, he didn’t speak up. The debate around him was grinding to a halt. Nobody but him had any idea what was going on.

_I know. It was her…it had to be her…but…what if that’s a lie? What if I’m wrong? Then will she hate me? But what if I’m right? Then I’m as good as murdering her myself. Right? I can’t do that to her. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t-_

And then she stared at him from across the trial ground, eyes of understanding boring into him. She was smiling, but her eyes held so much guilt.

_And so much sadness…can I even really say this? Can I even say that my best friend was the one to murder the man I love? That’s way too cruel…_

She wanted him to expose her. He knew that. He was the only one who could. If not for him, then he had to do it for her. Her, who wanted them all to live on and escape for hers and Rantaro’s sake.

_Rantaro…_

Shuichi looked down at his nails. The teal and white gave him strength, at least for a moment, as he spoke for both the victim and the culprit’s sakes.

“Akamatsu-san is the culprit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end of the in-game events of Chapter 1 that I’ll be writing here. And yikes…  
> Shu is not going to have a good time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, a quick note. If you go back to chapter 2, you'll see that I've added my own art to the fic! What do you guys think? If you guys like it, I'll try to make art for every chapter. Let me know in the comments!

His nightmares were worse than ever.

Along with the usuals, Kaede and Rantaro would not leave him alone. He shot up awake after just an hour of sleep, at around midnight, just to get away from hearing Kaede’s screams or seeing Rantaro’s curled up body. His clothes sticky with sweat, Shuichi got up to get himself a glass of water, knowing that trying to go back to sleep would be pointless. His eyes travelled to the unnecessarily large monitor in his room.

_“A body has been discovered!”_

Shuichi tensed as Monokuma’s cruel message played in head. The announcement for everyone to assemble at the library. A confirmation.

_Confirmation that the killing game had started. Confirmation that Rantaro was dead. Confirmation that Kaede was going to die…_

He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to push those thoughts to the back of his mind, but failing.

_If I was just more attentive, if I was more careful, none of this would have happened. They’d still be alive right now. Kaede told me it wasn’t my fault, but…how could it not be? I screwed up, and she had to take the fall for it. I should have died inste-_

A knock on the door roused him from his thoughts. Shuichi was immediately nervous and on guard, but then relaxed immediately knowing it could only be one person.

_Hoshi-san…_

While Kaede and Rantaro were certainly the closest to him, he couldn’t deny his close bond with Ryoma. The two became friends rather quickly. During their first night, Shuichi had been sitting in the dining hall the night after the first trial, absently doodling cats in a small notepad (a nervous habit of his), when Ryoma took notice. The two hit it off after that.

While it could be said that the two mainly sat with each other in silence, it was far from an uncomfortable one. The two were both naturally quiet and introverted people who understood each other’s boundaries. However, due to his intuition regarding people’s emotions, Shuichi learned to recognize when Ryoma’s silences were the usual variety of not needing to say anything, or something more serious than that.

Whenever Ryoma seemed to have too much on his mind, he’d gravitate towards Shuichi. If it was during the day, the two would sit down in Ryoma’s recently opened research lab, which would help calm Ryoma down. If it was at night, Ryoma would come to Shuichi’s room where the two could just take comfort in each other’s presence.

It seemed like tonight was another night that Ryoma needed comforting.

Shuichi was surprised that Ryoma, who always seemed so on-guard, was able to place his trust in Shuichi so quickly. When he asked him about it, Ryoma didn’t seem to know either, simply saying, “You seem like a good man” with a small chuckle.

Even though he was surprised. Shuichi did not mind his new role. If he could act as emotional support for the boy, then he would give it his all. Whatever he couldn’t give himself, he could at least give Ryoma.

Besides, he had his own little comfort. His nails, even though there were only nine of them. They served as both a source of strength and a reminder. A reminder that he had failed both Rantaro and Kaede. But also, a reminder that he had to live on and stay strong for their sake.

_Maybe, somewhere out there, the two of them can be proud of me. At least I hope so. Kaede…Rantaro…. I’m so sorry._

The knocking grew louder and more desperate.

_Ah…I need to go answer that…hang on…he never knocks twice no matter how slow I am…what’s wrong?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I leave this chapter on another cliff-hanger? Yes, yes I did. Though I might just upload the next chapter at the same time.  
> Did Shuichi and Ryoma become friends because of their mutual weakness for cats? Yes, yes they did.  
> Hope you guys are enjoying this fic so far! I’m not particularly good at this, so you guys will need to point out any inconsistencies or mistakes I make. Hope to see you next chapter! :D


	7. Chapter 7

The second Shuichi opened the door, he knew something was off, the exhaustion from the Insect Meet-and-Greet leaving his body, as worry took its place.

While Ryoma would normally just walk in without hesitation, tonight he seemed to be waiting for Shuichi to let him in. The other abnormality was…

_He’s not wearing his beanie…but he never even leaves his room without it. Something’s more wrong than usual._

Shuichi moved aside to let Ryoma walk into the room. While he would normally make a beeline for the sofa in the middle of the room, his eyes scanned the room before he sat on the bed.

 _Okay, something is_ definitely _wrong._

“Hoshi-san…did something happen?”

Silence. Ryoma’s eyes were darting around the room, looking anywhere other than at Shuichi. By the looks of it, Ryoma had been crying, which was only another red flag.

“Hoshi-san?”

Their eyes finally met.

“It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“But it’s clearly worrying you. If there’s something you need to get off your chest, you can. I won’t judge you for it, no matter what it is.”

“…”

Ryoma fell silent and Shuichi understood. Ryoma wasn’t ready to tell him yet. Predicting that neither of them were getting any sleep, Shuichi made two cups of 1 AM coffee. After handing Ryoma his coffee, he went to sit on the sofa and the two of them sat in silence, sipping from their cups occasionally.

“I saw my motive video.”

He spoke so suddenly that Shuichi nearly jumped and spilled coffee everywhere.

_Motive video…I’d almost forgotten about those…_

Monokuma, as expected, had prepared another motive to get the killing game going again, motive videos for every one of them. However, somehow or the other, they’d gotten mixed up, so nobody could watch their own.

_Wait…something’s wrong. Ryoma had been wanting to watch his own video since the first day they were presented to us. What changed that?_

“Didn’t it give you a reason to live? That’s what you were looking forward to, rig-?”

“It was blank.”

_What?_

“That stupid motive video was fucking blank! I don’t have any reasons to live!”

Ryoma’s voice gradually became a desperate scream. Shuichi felt the air get knocked out of lungs.

_E-empty?! Empty! T-that’s just…not right. How dare Monokuma even think about doing something so…so inhumane. I mean…showing that to person…it would destroy them._

_Maybe that’s what he wants._

Shuichi immediately jumped up and knelt on the ground in front of Ryoma, gently taking Ryoma’s small but rough hands in his own.

“Nothing?”

Ryoma’s tearful gaze was answer enough.

“I…I have no right to say this, but I can at least try to understand how you feel…even if Monokuma says that you have nothing to live for now, doesn’t mean that you can’t find new reasons to live once we get out of her- “

“It’s too late for someone like me…”

Ryoma’s words caught Shuichi off guard. _Did he truly believe that? That there’s no chance for him in the outside world?_

Ryoma was not the type of person to be easily comforted by words. But that’s all Shuichi had to offer, and even those weren’t coming to him at the moment. He was at a loss for words. What could he even say?

Until an idea struck him with all the suddenness of a lightning bolt.

_“This world will never be_ _  
What I expected  
And if I don't belong  
Who would have guessed it?”_

Ryoma looked up at Shuichi, surprised at hearing his soft melodic voice. He didn’t know that Shuichi could sing, and well at that.

_“I will not leave alone_ _  
Everything that I own  
To make you feel like it's not too late  
It's never too late…”_

Shuichi got off the floor to sit next to Ryoma on the bed, never letting go of his hands.

_“Even if I say_ _  
It'll be alright  
Still I hear you say  
You want to end your life  
Now and again, we try  
To just stay alive  
Maybe we'll turn it all around  
'Cause it's not too late  
It's never too late.”_

Shuichi’s voice was slowly growing more powerful, as if his desperation to make Ryoma understand was slowly seeping into it.

_“No one will ever see_ _  
This side reflected  
And if there's something wrong  
Who would have guessed it  
And I have left alone  
Everything that I own  
To make you feel like  
It's not too late  
It's never too late…”_

Ryoma was staring at Shuichi, completely dumbstruck, not moving a muscle.

_“Even if I say_ _  
It'll be alright  
Still I hear you say  
You want to end your life  
Now and again, we try  
To just stay alive  
Maybe we'll turn it all around  
'Cause it's not too late  
It's never too late.”_

Shuichi subconsciously began rubbing Ryoma’s thumbs with his own.

_“The world we knew_ _  
Won't come back  
The time we've lost  
Can't get back  
The life we had  
Won't be ours again…”_

Ryoma’s whole body began to tremble. Shuichi simply wrapped his left arm around his body, loose enough to let Ryoma know that he could get up whenever he wanted.

_“This world will never be_ _  
What I expected  
And if I don't belong…”_

Tears began pricking at the corners of Ryoma’s eyes as he leaned into the embrace, arms wrapping around Shuichi’s waist as if clinging on for dear life.

_“Even if I say_ _  
It'll be alright  
Still I hear you say  
You want to end your life  
Now and again, we try  
To just stay alive  
Maybe we'll turn it all around  
'Cause it's not too late  
It's never too late  
Maybe we'll turn it all around  
'Cause it's not too late  
It's never too late (it's never too late)  
It's not too late  
It's never too late.”_

Ryoma sobbed, heart and soul, into Shuichi’s chest as Shuichi gently embraced him. The two sat like that until about 2AM, the coffee lying forgotten.

“T-thanks Saihara…I think I really needed that…” Ryoma croaked, standing up.

“Anytime, Hoshi-san” Shuichi said. And he meant it.

After a last little hug, Ryoma turned around and walked out the door with new resolve. If there was one thing he could believe in, it was his friendship with Shuichi Saihara.

Watching him leave, Shuichi desperately hoped that Ryoma would be able to follow the advice that he himself couldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. I think this one was the longest chapter yet. What can I say, I was on a roll.  
> I’m rather proud of how this chapter turned out. Feel free to tell me otherwise in the comments.  
> Also, the song Shuichi sings is “Never Too Late” by Three Days Grace. It’s an amazing song, that you should definitely listen to.  
> Hopefully see you guys next chapter! :)


End file.
